Memories

I was tidying up my attic room/isolation pod/home office/laundry room and found my wedding dress. Back in 2012 I bought a fancy box online, wrapped it in acid free paper and carefully tied the ribbon around said box. I haven’t looked at the dress since.

I remember going shopping for wedding dresses after we got engaged. I went alone to a few shops, which was I learned from Say Yes To The Dress not the norm. I then went to a local dress shop with my mum and sister and tried on a few dresses and decided this was a lovely dress that suited me and, most importantly, was well within budget. I also realised I liked veils and later ordered two online from a very cheap Ebay seller. I posted one to another bride on a planning website and kept the second. I’d almost forgotten about the veils until I found the one I kept in the dress box.

Back when we were planning our wedding(s) – we had two because we didn’t have a clue about how civil weddings offsite worked so ended up with one legal and one humanist ceremony – so many things were so important to me and looking at this dress ten years on I don’t quite remember why.

I still love this dress. If I was getting married now, I probably wouldn’t choose it but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right choice for me at the time. It started me thinking about how I would do so many things differently now, looking back with the benefit of hindsight. But I suppose that’s the whole point of having some introspection and realising that you’ve learned and grown a bit.

And then I also realised that we had a blast at our two weddings. We still miss La Mere Zou a lot, we still like drinking the La Croisade wine we served on the big day and we still love each other. I still like reading about other people’s weddings and this one in particular is so very lovely. I’m so glad I kept this dress and have such good memories of the one day I wore it.

Most of all, I’m glad we’re happy and have survived ten years of marriage relatively unscathed and still able to laugh about things together.

Tiny Sparks of Joy

Some very much wanted and needed new bathroom installations started this week. I want everything done instantly and without any complications. Then I remember I watch home improvement shows all the time so I should know better.

Baby spider plants and a single basil plant repotted in the hope of more greenery around the house.

Yummy takeaway dinner from 777. Glad we splashed out on the drinks too.

An unexpected and thoughtful gift from work colleagues.

A change in leadership. I’m not as naive as I was in November 2008, but I’ll take any election news that gives even a sliver of hope.

A day out of the house and a walk to enjoy a part of the city I’m never usually around. It’s the simple things.

The Hope and Fears of All the Years

Photo by Simon Matzinger on Pexels.com

This has quite obviously been a Year.

And yet, there are some things I have loved.

More time than I ever expected with the little Orchids.

More time than I ever expected with my husband.

Being so, so grateful to have the ability to work from home.

Having secure employment and housing.

All of us being healthy and relatively happy.

A new president in January.

Perhaps being able to go on holidays next summer.

Being more secure in myself and my choices in life, big and small, than I ever have been.

2020 is not in any way the year I thought I’d have. A huge number of fears, and looking for hope wherever I can find it.

And the great hope for next is Science. And that it brings us even more hope as the year goes on.