Halloween is not one of my favourite times of the year but I’ve started to enjoy it a bit more because it means we’re getting a bit closer to my absolute favourite time of the year. This year is also a lot less scary in terms of reproductive rights than last year was, but the near constant stream of news from across the pond is certainly helping to fill the gap.
I’m planning on being very generous to the trick or treaters this year because the more I give away the less will be left in the house for me to stuff my face with. I need to drastically reduce the amount of sugar passing my lips.
This time four weeks ago I was trying not to think about how nervous and hungry I was, and that the green surgical stockings I had to wear were just like the socks I had to wear as part of my school uniform. It feels like less and more time has passed. Baby Orchid is blooming and life with three children is generally ok.
I’m coping with less sleep deprivation than I did last time around. Baby Orchid alternates between the co-sleeper we borrowed from a friend and our bed which is thankfully king sized so not as much of a squeeze as might otherwise be the case. I’m an inherently lazy, take the easy route type of parent so breastfeeding (especially lying down) is part of that. Every time he wakes he gets fed and I doze and we both get some rest.
I feel guilty about the number of disposable nappies we’re going through. I need to sort out our cloth nappies and wipes and organise our changing baskets so we use the ones that aren’t as bad for the environment. I feel great that we’re using so many babygros and vests which have already been on at least two other babies.
It’s not all perfect, I’m feeling and looking tired. I’m getting a bit touched out by the time the evening rolls around. I’m wishing I could get in the car and drive somewhere for a change of scenery. But this stage will pass. It’s already been four weeks. Another four weeks and life will be even more normal.
Feeling my body and mind returning to some sort of normality.
Baking again. It has been far too long. I hope the raspberry bars are worth it.
The low tech silicon breast pump I’ve started using. It holds promises of time to myself within.
Great Drying Out.
The smell of cut grass. Probably the last time I’ll smell it this year.
I know this baby will be the last one I will ever had so the knowledge that all the firsts with him are also lasts is playing heavily on my mind. I didn’t have a particularly enjoyable pregnancy (I never do) but underneath the inconveniences of pregnancy I tried to force myself to remember that this was the last time I would do this and to lock away some positive memories.
Baby is what others would call a ‘good’ baby, especially at night. I’m wise enough at this stage to know this is very little to do with anything we’ve done and almost entirely down to him. He wakes once at night, after doing a nice stretch of sleep for a few hours, and then goes right back to sleep after not too much fussing. Last night it took me much longer to get back to sleep after feeding him because I spent too much time looking at his little face and I have to admit I didn’t even mind because I know I won’t be doing the newborn hazy phase of life ever again.
I gave birth on the 25th September and escaped from hospital five days later. I was really worried about the hospital stay this time around because the last two times I didn’t enjoy the experience at all. This time around it was pretty good though. The food was a pleasant surprise, my TV didn’t work so I was somewhat cocooned from the rolling news coverage that’s standard these days and I knew this was the last time I’d be in hospital post birth so I kind of surrendered to the whole thing.
Since getting home I’ve had a babymoon. My days are spent feeding the baby, eating, watching crappy daytime TV and sleeping. We’re very lucky that my husband gets paid paternity leave and can take the time off work to keep everything else ticking over. We managed to get out to lunch together with the baby yesterday, which was some much needed headspace away from our home.
I’m loath to mention sleep because so far we have been incredibly fortunate and baby wakes once a night for a marathon feed. We’re cosleeping and managing to get a nice few hours in between the waking, much more than we ever got with our first two children. Knowing this is the last time we’ll go through this is a bit bittersweet. I’m still coming to terms with it, to be honest.